Greetings to anyone, or no one that reads this blog. Let me begin by saying to anyone that reads this, this isn't a blog about my day to day life, but a blog about something that the sheer gravity of my feelings about this topic I can no longer internalise, I feel that I need to express how I feel in this crazy world. I need to express, that I am an Atheist. Now being an Atheist I would assume for most that share my belief, or really the lack there off, that it wouldn't be a big deal. However I feel that in today's society the battle lines are being drawn about those with, or without faith. I look at the world now and increasingly feel marginalised by the sheer gravity of how religions shape the world I live in. Before I continue to write, that in no way shape or form do I discriminate or believe to be better then anyone who believe in a faith. I judge a person by there actions not what they believe, and I accept that if someone chooses to believe something different to me I accept that is who they are, and I accept them for that. I feel I need to express my feelings because it feels like being an Atheist lacks its own identity. Most religions is based of rules, customs, beliefs and popular figure. I feel being an Atheist from a long line of Christians, that certain events I feel lost and hopeless to understand what my role, or place is when it comes to certain things. To speak more specifically with an example is a day such as Christmas.
1 Year ago and 10 days ago I would of accepted that Christmas was a day for giving gifts and was apart of my normal yearly routine. But on Christmas eve 2011 something changed, while watching the carols by candle light program with my girlfriend, and others, I felt outraged to the point I felt like yelling at the TV when the program asked its Santa, "What the meaning of Christmas is?" In which Santa replied it is to celebrate the birth of Jesus, or something very similar. While it took some quiet restraining from my girlfriend to not blurt my feelings out, and the realisation that, I think I was in the presence of others who do believe in Jesus, or the Christian faith in some manner, and I did not wish to offend them, after all the day had particular significance in there faith. I felt that Christmas no longer belonged apart of me. I had always celebrated Christmas as a day of family, and giving, and receiving gifts from those we love and care for but it feels like this day of celebration of family, and giving was ripped from me, that I'm now deprived of what seems like a very dear day, and the question for the past week has been bugging me. What now? Can I still call the 25th of December Christmas even though I don't accept the first half of that word Christ? Or am I disowned from celebrating Christmas, must I call it something else A-day? A-mas? X-mas? Family and Gift day? What do I pass on to my children now? Is it Christmas with Santa, Santa day? A-mas and its Mum and Dad who are the great stocking filler.
I finish by saying at the moment I have no answer, It feels in a one sentence response that I now question everything around me. What was constructed by faith and what was not? What do I now accept as my 25th of December tradition, in fact does if even have to be that day, I could pass on 1 A-mas day every month. I feel lost that I no longer understand that my rejection of faith in a divine being now means I have to reject institutions I've been raised upon, or do I manipulate, embrace, retain certain aspects. The question is, What goes on from here? The answer is I don't know yet, but I can't sleep properly at night until I know.
Interesting. To me it sounds like you feel without a belief you are not whole, but the belief in your family, your ability to love, and the ability to be who you are is, in essence, what you need to hold on to. Belief comes in many forms, whether its aligned to a religion, or in your family and friends, just be the best person you can be, be true to yourself and you will do fine.
ReplyDeleteChristmas, Easter, Hanukkah, whatever ... you live in the western world where we celebrate Christian ideals and the choice to participate or not is entirely yours. Take it as a time to be thankful for your family, your friends, and that you are able to celebrate in a peaceful country.
We seem to be brought in to a world where belief is the key to our lives, but you can choose to live your life as you like and if you don’t want to be part of the religious belief, then believe in yourself. It’s the best thing you can believe in on this earth and believe in the love of your family and friends and that you are important in our lives. xox
Hey shaz, its not so much as whole thing, I know what i believe in, its more finding out what instituations, and traditions of the past can co-inside with my beliefs
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